I just spent a few days in the Swiss mountains in a women’s retreat and still feel the nurturing and powerful energy we created together. It made me thinking about sisterhood and how women relate to one another. It is fascinating to me how we women have the capacity to bring out the best and the worse in each other.
There is a deep sisterhood wound in the collective that affects each and every one of us and it goes way back to the time in which women were killed for their spiritual practices. They would take a woman into a separate room and torture her until she would call out a sister who was practicing any kind of magic – and that magic could simply be saying a prayer or doing a ritual. No woman could trust any of her sisters and they were not able to do spiritual work with each other – which is exactly where women become so powerful.
Sometimes we have to clear these wound from a past life and/or from our ancestral lineage in order to create more space for healthy female friendships. I had no idea how much this wound has been playing out in so many of my connections until I started to dig deeper.
Today, in many parts of the world we women can do all the rituals and prayers we want without having to worry about our existence. We are so lucky! However, there is a much more subtle level in which we are still being set up to work against each other. The media and beauty magazines are definitely supporting the modern shadow side of sisterhood. Instead of showing the beauty of each and every woman in her unique essence they create a box that women are supposed to fit in. Not only is it unrealistic to fit into this box but this box basically destroys the true beauty that women can bring into the world when they express who they really are. This brings up lots of feelings of unworthiness for women and there is so much competition that comes from a believe that one woman could take something away from another woman – whether that is a man or attention or admiration or a job.
The truth is that the beauty and medicine that one woman can bring to the collective is only hers to give. No other woman can do that and therefor it doesn’t make any sense when we compete with each other. There is nothing to compete for. But knowing this in our mind is really not enough, we need to first address the wound and express the anger and grief and all that comes from any hurtful experiences we had with our sisters. There is plenty to work through from this life!
Why is this still happening? Why are we women set up to work against each other? Because we are incredibly powerful. And when we empower one another and bring out each others light our power becomes only stronger. Not everyone is comfortable with this idea since women in their power cannot be controlled. Many systems can only function as long as people and therefor also women are being controlled. There are companies that make millions based on a woman’s lack of self worth. To all the companies who do that: this is not cool, really not cool. Just saying!
This is why women need to come together and heal the wounds for all of us, our ancestors and future generations. We cannot heal this alone in isolation, we need each other! It is high time we create a new narrative in which women are each others cheerleaders and see one sister’s win as a win for all of us. I am not gonna sugar code this journey as I went through lots of ups and downs in healing my own sisterhood wound and I am a work in progress. I still experience moments of feeling jealous and threatened or being terrified that if I shine too much I will be rejected by other women. It’s not about avoiding any of these sensations but what we do with them and how we bring our awareness to them. All they do is show us where there is a wound that is in need of healing. It can be scary to meet each other on a deeper and more authentic level when we are programmed in such a different direction. There is so much to unlearn and relearn but the reward of it is so worth it.
You know, most of my life I thought that I can only experience intimacy with a sexual partner. This believe made me put so much focus on having a man in my life when actually I was just trying to have my needs met. Little did I know that women can give each other so much nurturing in a loving and non sexual way. Obviously women can also do that in a sexual way which is great just not what I’m talking about in this context. I think non sexual affection should be way more encouraged – not just between women but all of us.
Anyways, this new way of relating to women is really changing perspective for me and I am learning that there are different ways to have my needs met and they are not all necessarily how I was taught or shown.
Little note before I am done talking over here. This article is not against men. Not at all. And I highly discourage women using their gatherings to trash about men, that sucks and creates harm and it makes no sense in a high vibe container. I am not talking about women creating their own society and shutting men out, I am just talking about women coming together once in a while to fill up their cups and then spreading their joy with the rest of the world – including men.
So, here is to all my sisters. May we lift each other up and rise together!